


i will learn to love the sea (again)

by aecusfalcon



Series: and the soft mornings greet us with open arms [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Some angst, god this was awful to tag the relationships, i'll explore the other dynamics later i'm in a Mood rn, mostly IgNoct, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 11:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aecusfalcon/pseuds/aecusfalcon
Summary: It’s faster, he’s come to realize, taking the boat instead of the Regalia. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like an eternity just to get from one shore to the next. Prompto and Luna are both asleep on the makeshift beds in each other’s arms. Ignis is awake, sitting at the bow and looking at the reflection of the stars on the ocean. Truth be told, he hates the ocean. Not always. But right now in this moment he does.





	i will learn to love the sea (again)

**Author's Note:**

> anyways this is part of a thing my friend and i talk about called "idyll au" which is like. you'll find out more about if the more i post if u keep up w it that is

He expects the lighthouse to be broken down, abandoned years ago after Altissia, and he should hate it. Should see it as the point where all their lives had changed for the worse, should see it as a symbol of despair. Instead, however, he sees the light house’s light off in the distance and there’s a flicker of recognition. Recognition of a time long past, and it’s strange, he thinks, that it’s instead become a symbol of the warmth that whirls and twirls and does a somersault when he looks at the others on the boat.

They could have just taken the Regalia to Cape Caem, but Noctis insisted on using the royal vessel. He knows why, understands as he watches him chat away with Lunafreya standing at his side. He looks to his side, Prompto’s sitting, clicking pictures here and there until he turns it towards Ignis. He tries to duck out of the way, his camera shyness still getting to him no matter how many pictures Prompto’s taken of him. But alas, it is all for not.

“Prompto,” he starts in a scolding tone that holds no heat.

Prompto laughs and scoots closer, holding his camera to the side so Ignis could see the picture. “No matter how hard I try you somehow end up looking really good. Someday I’ll get an embarrassing picture of you.”

“If that’s been your intent from the beginning then I’m afraid I might have to do something about that.”

Prompto yelps indignantly as Ignis reaches for his camera to delete the blasted picture. “Hey! I could drop this in the ocean!”

Ignis snorts and stops his attempt, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t really need them, his eyesight was healed ages ago by Lunafreya’s attempts back at Gralea, but recently he’s needed to use them again. He’s not sure if it’s because of the sun starting to show through clouds of ash or if it just comes with age.

Either way he doesn’t mind, he’s gone most of his life needing them anyways.

He looks at Noctis again, feels the way his stomach flip-flops again when he hears him laugh. He smiles to himself softly, privately, knowingly.

“Soooo,” Prompto tries.

Ignis turns to look at him pointedly and remains silent.

“That doesn’t work anymore, you know I’m gonna ask anyways.”

He sighs, “If it means anything… yes, the road trip was a success. It didn’t go as I originally planned, though.”

“Come on, Iggy. That doesn’t mean anything if you don’t _say_ it.”

“I am deeply, madly, in love with him.”

“No offense, dude, but that’s kinda obvious. I don’t think anyone would do that just to save their bro. What I wanna know is, y’know, if you told him yet.”

“I did.”

“And?”

“It’s mutual.”

“Wow. Somehow you make _romance_ sound like a council meeting.”

Ignis scoffed, “What do you want me to say? We confessed, we had passionate sex, and now we’re here running away together?”

“Wait you-”

“No, I was being facetious.” There is no venom in his tone, no annoyance, just fond jesting.

“You’re really _really_ bad at romance.”

“I’m certain you would know, wouldn’t you?”

“I _do_. I cannot believe I’ve been dating the biggest _loser_ in the whole world for _years_.”

“It hasn’t been four years.”

“Ugh _shut up_ ,” but Prompto’s laughing now and he’s laying down, kicking his legs up into Ignis’s lap. “Okay, but really. I’m super glad you finally fucking told him after like. Pining over him you’re whole fucking life?”

“That obvious?”

“Fuck dude, it sure was. It was _awful_ to be around oh my _gods_ I wanted to yell at you to just tell him every time you stared at him like a lost puppy.”

Ignis clicks his tongue at that and puts his hands over Prompto’s legs, “I hope it wasn’t straining our relationship.”

“Nah, I love him too you know. We’re like… mlm solidarity except it’s friends loving noctis solidarity… fln...”

“I think dating would be more than just solidarity.”

“Semantics. So are you two finally a _thing_?”

“I think so.”

“I thought I was being obvious when I invited you to run away with me, Prompto, and Luna!” Noct calls over the crashing waves and Ignis loses all color in his face. How long had they been listening?

Prompto, promptly, loses it.

 

It’s faster, he’s come to realize, taking the boat instead of the Regalia. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like an eternity just to get from one shore to the next. Prompto and Luna are both asleep on the makeshift beds in each other’s arms. Ignis is awake, sitting at the bow and looking at the reflection of the stars on the ocean. Truth be told, he hates the ocean. Not always. Just… now… now the waters lapping at the boat are deafening, drowning, suffocating. He exhales deeply. He wants to enjoy it again, would like to, and he knows it’s within his reach but…

It’s been ten years.

It feels too soon.

It’s been ten years and it still feels too soon.

 _Pathetic_.

“Hey.” Ignis looks to Noct when he hears him, watches him as he sits down.

“Noct.” That’s all that he allows to slip from his mouth before he goes back to watching the waves bellow, he doesn’t trust himself to speak right now. He feels Noct lean over, resting his head on his shoulder as he reaches for his hand. He doesn’t grab it, waits as if asking for permission, and Ignis allows it, decides to meet halfway.

“You’re thinking too much.”

“I am aware of this.”

“I’m sorry. It was pushy of me.”

“You were only trying to help.”

“Luna needed this… I did too I guess.”

“And I’m glad you’re doing better about it. Both of you.”

“But it’s not for you.”

“It’s too soon.”

“I know.”

“It’s pathetic.”

“It’s not.”

Ignis bites back his response, he sighs, brows furrowing as the waves attack his ears. They don’t talk about that day often, and when they do it’s always short, terse, formal, just for history’s sake. He knows that Noct will keep trying, will keep prodding, and he knows Luna and Prompto will stay quiet for his sake. The story was not entirely theirs to tell, and they’d already told Noct their side.

They never spoke of what Ignis did, though, for it was not theirs to tell. How it was by pure luck he and Ravus were able to get to the altar on time, was pure luck that he’d been able to empty his curatives on Luna before _he_ showed up, was pure luck he didn’t die. If the timing had been off if only for a fraction of a second… He doesn’t want to think about it. He can’t stomach the sight of Noctis, impaled upon a throne by his own father’s sword.

The water should be welcoming, shaping around his body like a blanket fitted just for him and yet he is frightened. Frightened because of all the memories that come with it. It use to lull him to sleep, back before everything, back when Noctis would escape with him out to a lake to fish, back when they were on their way to _that place_ and he would find himself dozing.

Now it is a reminder. Just as his scars are.

“Talk to me about it.” Noctis eventually says, he’s _pleading_ him to tell him and Ignis takes another breath.

“I… Okay… Give me a moment to… gather myself.”

He’d told people about it before, of the vision, of the rain that soaked him to his bone, of how Luna had _barely_ survived. (He did not speak of the water filling his lungs as he’d been launched out of the boat, of his chest pushed to the ground with a gun to his head, of the bile that rose in his throat when Ardyn attempted… Of how _he_ had barely survived.)

“I… you already know what happened in Gralea. And I know I… hadn’t told you how I ended up there. Before you… before I… Before I got to you and Luna her dog Pryna showed me a vision. You. As you are now. Sitting on the throne. But I’m not there, none of us are there. You’re alone and you- and you…” his voice falters, cracks, and he can’t bear to look at Noctis right now, afraid he might see that scene again and this is all a fleeting fantasy.

“It’s okay, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. Take the time you need.” Noct squeezes his hand tighter and it grounds Ignis a little more, a little longer.

He lets out another breath. “You’re impaled… by your father’s sword. And then you’re… somewhere else and he’s there and then he’s not. And then _you’re_ not. That’s why I… That’s why I went with him. I thought- I don’t know what I thought. Maybe there would be some way…” His voice fades off and he feels teardrop fall on his hand, this time not his own.

“I’m sorry.”

“I chose it.”

“I know.”

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“Neither can you. Neither _should_ you. I’m here now. I’m alive, but you-” Noct cuts himself off and Ignis knows what he was going to finish with. He knows the exact thought, had the exact thought himself when he put that ring on. _You almost died and I don’t know what I would’ve done if you did._

Ignis starts, quietly, softly, meant only for Noctis and no other should they be listening, “It’s been ten years, it shouldn’t still hurt.”

“It shouldn’t,” he confirms, and then, “but it does. And you learn to live with it and I wish I can make it stop hurting but I can’t.”

“I didn’t… die... that day but it feels like I lost a part of me. I felt so alone.”

“But you’re not.”

“I’m not,” Ignis echos, and for the first time he looks from the reflection on the waters and up at the night sky.

“I’m not,” he says again, whispering it to himself as if he’s telling himself that he truly isn’t alone, convincing himself that he’s not alone. And maybe it’s enough.

Maybe it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> In the morning Luna looks at them empathetically as they sleep leaning against each other.


End file.
